Yes, older people have sex.
And no, that doesn’t make them dirty old men or horny old broads.
In fact, while many get uncomfortable with the thought of intimacy among the older folk, the truth is, there is no age limit on sexuality and sexual activity and we should start to break free of this taboo subject.
I was actually curious about how long our sense of sexuality could last and did some quick research. I learned that the frequency or ability to perform sexually will generally decline modestly as seniors experience the normal physiological changes that accompany aging, but there are many reports that found that the majority of men and women between the ages of 50 to 80 are still enthusiastic about sex and intimacy.
“The need for love and intimacy is a fundamental human need, as primal as the need for food, water, and air.” Dean Ornish
I then found an article that quotes geriatrics expert Walter M. Bortz, 70, author of three books on healthy aging as well as several studies on seniors sexuality, “Use it or lose it […] There’s strong data all over: It’s a matter of survival. People that have sex live longer. Married people live longer. People need people. The more intimate the connection, the more powerful the effects.”
This got me thinking about advice. (Sudden detour, I know, but I’m going somewhere with this.)
The best advice comes from those who have “done it” (no pun intended).
What I mean is those who have actually “been there, done that” (again, no pun intended).
Get money advice from those who have money. Take career advice from those who are successful. Take relationship advice from those who are in happy fulfilling relationships. Take life advice from those who are at peace.
And take sex advice from those who have been doing it the longest.
I was suddenly curious about the best sex advice out there.
So rather than just walk up to the adults in their 60s and over which I knew (and to avoid appearing really imposing and rude!), I decided to go to my good friend, Google.
I found the most fascinating article that listed sex advice from 12 famous women most of us know and respect.
It put a smile on my face; some made me chuckle, but most of all, it made me realize we are all indeed the same – I read the words of these older women and I saw them as sisters who are the wisest among us, with great advice to share and heed.
No matter how old we are, there is nothing wrong with embracing our sexuality and sharing an intimate connection with another human being. In fact, it can only bring us closer to ourselves, and the loves of our lives.
“Enlightenment is the key to everything, and it is the key to intimacy, because it is the goal of true authenticity.” Marianne Williamson
So here is that advice for you below. Hope you enjoy the read and learn a thing or two (or 12!).
1. God gave us the ability to do it – so let’s do it
“I was always very open-minded about sex, and I’m glad that I still am… It was never dirty to me. After all, God gave us the equipment and the opportunity. There’s the the old saying, ‘If God had meant for us to fly, he’d have given us wings’. Well, look at what he did give us,” Dolly Parton, 69.
2. Speak up!
“The principal concern for most women is not having an orgasm. But a woman has to take responsibility for her own orgasms. It’s up to the man to not be offended when she tells him what she needs.” Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 86.
3. Seek out what turns you on
“I like sexy stuff. I like looking at sexy photos. I loved Madonna’s sex book, and I love Gaga. To be honest, I rather like watching pole dancing,” Dame Helen Mirren, 69.
4. Sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look
“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you, or it isn’t, and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips,” Sophia Loren, 80.
5. The best partner is someone who makes you feel sexy
“I like being independant. I like being his girlfriend. I like that notion. I think it’s sexy,” Goldie Hawn, 69.
6. Some of the best sex requires a plan
“One thing about aging is that spontaneity kind of goes out the window and you have to plan. Which can be exciting, but you have to decide: How long from now am I going to perform? And then it depends on what kind of pill you take,” Jane Fonda, 77.
7. You’re in charge of your sexual desire
“Does desire melt away with age? I’m waiting for that day to come. Sexual desire is like aging – a lot of it is [in your head],” Betty White, 93.
8. Don’t forget about hygiene
“Always take a bath before and after… and don’t forget to brush your teeth,” Martha Stewart, 73.
9. Talking about sex makes a major difference
“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, ‘The man goes on top and the woman goes underneath’. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds,” Joan Rivers, 1933 – 2014.
10. A little self-love? Yes, please!
“Self-love? You know what [my vibrator] is called? A selfie!” Barbara Walters, 85.
11. A healthy sex life means a healthy relationship
[On the three most important things in her relationship:] “Sex, sex, sex,” Joan Collins, 81.
12. Sex is about being happy
“Everything that truly makes us happy is quite simple: love, sex and food!” Meryl Streep, 65.
Have any sex advice to share? We’d love to hear it!