They say, “Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it.”
How many of us are okay with this? We wish for something so bad, and then when it actually happens, we’re not quite sure how to deal with it.
Let me tell you a funny story all about this. It’s essentially about resistance and how I finally managed to embrace what my soul has been calling out for me to do. It’s a story about how you can get what you want, and be alright with it.
It all started a couple of months ago. For some reason, I was getting very stressed out. Like very. Who knows why – maybe it was because I hadn’t been sleeping well; I was raising two young boys under the age of three; I was having more responsibilities at work; I had just moved houses and was still adjusting to setting up our new home…
I guess it doesn’t really matter what was causing it, but I did notice that my emotions were getting a bit volatile. I could go from happiness to frustration to hate to anxiety then to happiness again. I also noticed that my patience was running short. I could get angry at the stupidest things ever. Like getting stuck in traffic or if there was a long queue at the bank.
Reflecting, I began to question my overall wellness and happiness. I knew that to others and even to myself it seemed like “I had it all”, yet why was I feeling “empty” most days?
Then, a couple of weeks ago, my stress levels hit its max. It was a Sunday and I was trying to do everything all at once – trying to get the kids lunch, and finishing an important work-related task, and feeling like an ultimate mess. The result was a mess too.
That’s when I said, “I’m done. I’d rather earn less money, but be happier overall. I’m going to quit my job.”
The next day I went to work and spoke to my boss (aka my husband) and shared how I was feeling. We had a good chat about the pros and cons of quitting my job, and he suggested that I perhaps start by working less hours.
I thought long and hard about that. I was already working six hours a day, would cutting out two more hours be worth it? Would I feel the difference?
It did sound tempting. I could still do my job, and have some sort of income. Sure, it would be less than working a full day and making less than what I was making working six hours a day, but it was better than going down to zero income. Also, those additional two hours could be used to dabble in any side projects that excited me, or heck, simply be used to write or just relax and take it easy.
As I thought about it and felt that it was a great idea, there was a part of me that for some reason, wasn’t convinced and it was hard to just say “yes”. To quitting or doing less hours. I still couldn’t really let go despite blowing up and feeling like quitting just the day before.
And then it hit me. I was struggling with my own sense of identity.
I’ve done many crazy and adventurous things in my life, but through it all, I never stopped working. Never, ever. Not once. I have been working since I was 20 and that was all I felt I knew of me. And that thought was suddenly scary as hell to me.
I went home asking myself a lot of questions, “What would happen if I stopped working? Should I do this? Am I giving up? Am I weak? Should I go back to my old schedule? It wasn’t so bad…”
And then I began feeling anxious again. So I decided go to my bedroom and do a short visualization exercise that gave me clarity, and pretty fast too. Not only that, it suddenly made things fall into place that kind of gave me exactly “what I wished for” but was too afraid to put into action. It cemented what I realized about myself in my visualization and what I needed to do next.
A few hours later, I got a phone call from my youngest son’s nanny. Apparently she had injured herself (nothing too serious) and couldn’t come in to work for a whole week. I called a friend who sometimes would help me when I was having a nanny emergency and she said she could help, but get this – only four hours a day.
It was interesting. Completely outside my control, I suddenly had no choice but to choose to work four hours a day (not quit altogether), so I could accommodate for this “problem” that had crept up.
And how did it go? I ended up loving it! It was a weird stress-free week (considering my husband was also traveling and I was now only about to work four hours for something big like a new product launch).
I managed to get work done, spend time with my kids, finish a book (okay, well it was a short book but still) and managed to do some writing.
Honestly, I feel I owe it to the visualization exercise which I did. It helped give me clarity on what I wanted, explain why I was ultimately afraid to try, and as a result of this clarity, got the wheels of manifesting into motion for me. And fast.
I learned through this process that maybe I didn’t need to quit work, but I could work less hours a day, still make an income of some sort and perhaps (so far) hold on to my sanity and stress levels.
I used to do this exercise a lot before the madness of motherhood and juggling a full-time job came a long, and indeed, I could trudge along full-steam into the things I knew I wanted for my soul. I wished I hadn’t forgotten this, but I was so grateful I rediscovered it and that it did indeed help tremendously.
And I’d love to share the exercise with you below.
Visualization Exercise To Help You Get Unblocked From Your Needs:
1. Find a place where you can be alone. Close your eyes and shut the world out.
2. Take three to four deep breaths. Enjoy and take in each breath. Pay attention to the flow of your breathing and feel how little by little you are relaxing your body and your mind.
3. Close your eyes and say: “I accept what it is happening in my life right now. I may not understand the meaning of it, but I am sure it is for my own good”.
4. Now let’s do some internal talk. We are going to work on resistances. What it is the center of your doubts? In my case, it was the feeling that I was not happy with my work right now, but I was scared to think what doing something different could mean. I knew I had to get to the “why” of what was making me feel this way. The key it’s to discover your limiting belief and to challenge that point of view. The dialogue went something like this:
Marina 1: “Why are you so scared?”
Marina 2: (First limiting belief will appear) “Working less hours makes it look like I can’t handle everything.”
Marina 1: “Well, but, do you want to handle everything?”
Marina 2: “I want to feel better. But, what if I don’t make enough money?”
Marina 1: “Do your math – how much money do you really need?”
Marina 2: (After doing math) “Okay, but, what if I am not able to get another job, or my old job, if I want to go back to working full-time?”
Marina 1: “Really? The Universe is abundant, you were able to get a job all the times you wanted one. Why you wouldn’t you be able to get one now that you have more experience and expertise?”
Marina: “Ok, let it be what it has to be. Thank you.”
5. After this dialogue, embrace the present. And not just for it being the now, but literally as a gift, a present. Trust that everything is happening the way it should. For me, toward the end of the exercise, I could see that everything that was happening to me was in my best interest (and really, something I had desired but was too afraid to make a reality myself).
6. End the exercise in gratitude and with a smile.
So for now, I’m starting with working half days, and so far, enjoying it. I will continue to listen to my soul and emotions, and if the time comes that I might decide to quit altogether or go back full-time, I will do what I feel is best for me (and of course me sanity), in that moment.
What do you think? Is this something you can try for yourself if you’re stuck on a decision that you feel is important your soul makes?
Try this exercise and let us know if it helps you get what you want, and how you felt about it after.