Love – we all try so hard to find it and hold on to it.
And without realising it, we end up trying to control love, just to make it all we’ve ever wanted it to be or think it should be.
While we seek the “perfect” love, in a lot of instances, many of us end up changing and morphing into someone we authentically aren’t. (Or maybe we try so hard to change the one we love hoping that their “change” will make everything better.)
In the quest for the perfect love, we scrutinise ourselves and others; we highlight flaws or blame imperfection, either our own or someone else.
Then there is anger, resentment, whateveryouwannacall it, which leaves us all essentially trapped in life. Unable to move forward until we find it, fix it, have it.
But isn’t the point of love to feel joy? Peace? Happiness?
If so, why is it so hard to find and keep and just be happy with?
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi
That’s because there is a lot of work to do, and I mean some personal work. You gotta dig deep – but really, in a lot of instances, it’s about just letting go.
Just letting go of rules; what love should and shouldn’t be. How someone should or shouldn’t be. How we should or shouldn’t be.
We should just get that love is about accepting someone for who they are, and seeing them as a truly unique creature, which makes them, and us (we’re unique too), simply beautiful.
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.” Jacob M. Braude
When it comes to love, there is nothing that cannot be resolved with an open mind and an open heart. (Of course I’m not talking about relationships that involve drug addiction, abuse and adultery. That’s a whole new ballgame altogether. :-l)
It’s about having a sense of humor about things, and not always trying to have things set in a particular way, defined in a particular manner.
Who put those thoughts about “how things should be” in your head anyway? What you think you know is always based on something you have been told or a mindset you put yourself to after having a particular experience.
It’s not real. It’s perception.
“We must never forget that spiritual experience is above all a practical experience of love. And with love, there are no rules.” Paulo Coelho
And this is true for any kind of relationship. Let go of thinking your love life, friendships or work relationships all have to be in a particular way. Stop expecting others to be what you want them to be and likewise, stop being who you think you should be to others.
Just enjoy. Have fun. Go wild. Let go. Live in the moment. Appreciate. Feel grateful.
Get in alignment and then you’ll naturally vibrate to what’s in alignment with you.
And with that, I’d like to share a beautiful letter by writer Courtney A. Walsh.
I came across it when I was reading a friend’s new book – a sneak peak before it’s publish date in December – on the topic of… yes, you guessed it, love.
I was so inspired by the letter. It ran through my blood and made me think not just about the relationships in my life, but most importantly, the relationship I have with myself and my own thoughts.
It was beautiful and it was powerful, and it inspired this article.
So if you’re feeling stuck either with yourself or a situation with someone else, please know that it’s okay, you’re okay and they’re okay. If you’re emotionally safe and not being physically hurt in any way, then know that a little work and some change in perception, may be all you need to set you back onto the right course.
There is no blame of yourself or others.
We’re all just fabulously flawed.
You already desire love. That’s on the right track to me. You’re almost there.
The Most Beautiful Letter Ever
You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love.
Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love.
Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of… messing up. Often.
You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.
And then to rise again into remembering.
But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully.
That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU.
It’s enough. It’s Plenty.
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P.S. If you liked this also check out 5 Phrases To Help Any Relationship.